I'm a glutton for pain. I have decided to join my family for Christmas. After all the torment and aggression... I'm going to go. What am I thinking? And I'm going for three full days. God give me stregnth. PLEASE.

Back to last week.

I went on a hike with TDW. I'm not much of an outdoorsy type. Nor am I athletic. It was a big challenge for me. Climbing big rocks... no problem. Climbing down... not as good. But we had fun. When we reached our midpoint I confessed that it was my first real hike. TDW was surprised. And impressed. So was I. I hadn't complained once.

That wasn't the case when TDW and I went shopping Saturday. He wanted me to take an active role in his shopping. I hate shopping for myself. WHy would I want to shop for him? Anyway... I tried to be a good sport. TDW is leaving for France and will only be back for a few days in December and won't really be back until February. He is a ridiculous shopper. Weighing every option. THREE HOURS we were in that mall.

Our last store was Barnes and Noble. TDW surprised me with some books on starting your own business and writing a business plan. It made me feel good that he is encouraging my new goal.

But of course every good thing has to come to an end. We fought that night. About stupid shit. But it did bring up some issues we both had been avoiding. I unleashed some of my bitterness towards him. And he expressed more than he has ever had. Here I was pulling away and he was confessing his "like" for me.

Sunday I dropped him off a the airport. He wouldn't let me go. He looked so upset. But I had plan B. I had made plans with a guy I know from Chicago now living in Scottsdale. I made the plans on purpose. To take my mind off of TDW.

T-Crest and I met at a wedding many moons ago. He's adorable. And fun. But a play-a. We met at his place for a quick drink (water for me since I had a 6 hour drive ahead of me.) He had a date. We caught up on our lives over the past year. It was good to see him. We said our goodbyes.

And that is my Arizona weekend.

Since... TDW has been text messaging like crazy. We will see how long that lasts. And T-Crest said he is coming out to L.A. soon to visit. MMMMmmmm... good.

Monday I went out with Amanda and we met up with some guys we know. These are the same guys we had bumped into Vegas back in April. Gerry tried to get us to go to Vegas that night. But there was no flights available until 10 pm. If there had been an earlier flight I would have gone in a heart beat. Gerry and Rico are so fun.

Instead of Vegas, Amanda and I headed over to another resturant and I sold in a bunch of wine while drinking and eating. Got to love my job sometimes.

Today I'm fighting cramps. Blah... I'll survive.

I'm going to go to the gym... one of these days.