I am not. All woman here. Just formerly M@dison R@e.

I have returned home from Vegas. It was wonderful.

But right now I have puffy eyes from crying. And am incredibly tired.

There I was in Vegas with my good friend, drunk, carrying on but still thinking of TDW.

I came clean with him tonight. Told him how unhappy I was. How I NEED him to reach out to me more. How I NEED to hear he misses me. How I NEED him to work harder right now since we are in such a crazy spot.

I hate having to NEED anything. I wish I was confident in our relationship. But I'm not. And I don't know if I'm strong enough to keep it going.

So I told him so. And he told me he understood. He's sorry he put me through all this.

I feel so weak.

Didn't I just say last entry that I wouldn't use this d-land as a bitch session about TDW?

I lied.

I'm hurting right now. And I can't make it stop.

I hate this.